Down In Me

Go away. I’m pretend-typing so you won’t approach me. Look away. Leave me alone. I’m engrossed in important work as you can plainly see. I don’t want to hear your crass attempted witty remarks on the weather, or this sad state of affairs or the weather or how tired I look or the weather again. Go away. I don’t care and you creep me out with your inquisitive gaze boring into me. Look away. I don’t want to tell you about my weekend, there’s nothing there for you to grab hold of. In your tamest dreams you never met me and you never will. Keep your shallow words and your shallower thoughts hidden away buried beneath that diseased exterior, deep and far away from me. Go away. We’re trapped in this situation by convenience, randomness, anything but desire so GO AWAY. I’m burying my nose into the monitor for your benefit so just….

Oh, fuck.

Alright, what is it then?

“Erm… Oh!”

“What?”

“Oh. Uh… nothing.”

“Oh.” [sigh]

“Wha..?”

“What?”

“Um, what was that?”

“Oh, nothing.”

“Ah, OK.”

” … ”

“You sighed.”

“So I did.”

“Right.”

“What?”

“I… uhh…”

“Yes?”

“Uhhh…”

” … ”

“Nevermind.”

“Fine.”

“But… umm…”

“Mmmhmm?”

“No. Forget it.”

“Ugh.”

“Forgive me, father, for I have sinned.”

“Yes, my child. How long has it been since your last confession?”

“A very, very long time, father. Too long.”

“Go on.”

“I have had… impure thoughts.”

“Concerning what, my child?”

“Everything, father. Things that… well….”

“Confess and repent to me now that God may forgive you, child.”

“I simply can’t, father. I am unable to utter these travesties in your holy presence. Instead, I have been… I have blogged about them, father.”

“Blogged!?”

“Yes, I have a blog, father, wherein I have confessed to… EVERYTHING.”

” … ”

“Is something wrong, father?”

“You… you have confessed your sins to your fellow sinners before confessing them to THE LORD!?!?!?”

“Yes, father. I’m so sorry, father.”

“Very well, my child. E-mail me ten Our Fathers and seven Hail Marys in penance. May God give you pardon and peace. I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.”

“Oh thank you, father. Thank you.”