down in me

the reason i’m here is that this thought was too long to tweet

was just thinking that i really want a greenbean casserole and an oreo cookie pie but a specific one, i think it was 96 or 97. me and my boyfriend were invited to our friend’s house for thanksgiving dinner. our friend loved gregory corso and me and him were putting a zine together. he had introduced me to bukowski and burroughs. he wanted to be a writer and i thought that was okay for him because he was jewish and poor and he had a beard. writing was never okay for me. i am latina and my stepfather laundered money for the cartel and my mom enrolled me in modeling school at the age of six. his mom used to clean the classrooms at school.

at thanksgiving the school made a ‘canned food drive’ and they gave her the cans and a big turkey and she cooked it for me and him and his sister and my boyfriend. it was the most delicious thanksgiving ever. we had like five kinds of pies, mashed potatoes from a box, a million casseroles made with vegetables from a can and a sauce of campbell’s soup with crunchy toppings of like corn flakes or funyuns and a massive turkey and cornbread and stuffing and that bright maroon cranberry sauce in the shape of a can. i remember thinking ‘so this is what happens to the cans collected by the food drive’