Comments on: When you die the asphalt will let out a cry http://downinme.com/2010/02/14/when-you-die-the-asphalt-will-let-out-a-cry/ “bad writing is characterized by obfuscation, showboating, narcissism, lack of a moral core, and style over substance." Fri, 11 May 2012 00:46:50 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.4 By: Ani Smith http://downinme.com/2010/02/14/when-you-die-the-asphalt-will-let-out-a-cry/comment-page-1/#comment-4907 Ani Smith Tue, 16 Feb 2010 20:15:32 +0000 http://downinme.com/2010/02/14/when-you-die-the-asphalt-will-let-out-a-cry/#comment-4907 Emma, don't be such a sweetheart. Seriously though, you're onto something. Sometimes I feel incapable of telling an actual story being so much more involved with the melody. It's a general failing and I go in cycles as to whether I care. Emma, don’t be such a sweetheart. Seriously though, you’re onto something. Sometimes I feel incapable of telling an actual story being so much more involved with the melody. It’s a general failing and I go in cycles as to whether I care.

]]> By: Emma http://downinme.com/2010/02/14/when-you-die-the-asphalt-will-let-out-a-cry/comment-page-1/#comment-4906 Emma Tue, 16 Feb 2010 11:20:30 +0000 http://downinme.com/2010/02/14/when-you-die-the-asphalt-will-let-out-a-cry/#comment-4906 Your writing lately has been controlled, but it's also been like the almost-familiar tone of a song, changing with tempo and popping at appropriate crescendos. When I think of writing that is art, I think of this. This is like words wrapped up together, cellophane wrapped sorta, and left in tidy boxes. It's less storytelling and more like a canvas, and I really can't stop looking at it. How do you do this, Ani? How do you make me feel in paragraphs. Your writing lately has been controlled, but it’s also been like the almost-familiar tone of a song, changing with tempo and popping at appropriate crescendos. When I think of writing that is art, I think of this. This is like words wrapped up together, cellophane wrapped sorta, and left in tidy boxes. It’s less storytelling and more like a canvas, and I really can’t stop looking at it.

How do you do this, Ani? How do you make me feel in paragraphs.

]]> By: Ani Smith http://downinme.com/2010/02/14/when-you-die-the-asphalt-will-let-out-a-cry/comment-page-1/#comment-4905 Ani Smith Mon, 15 Feb 2010 20:10:23 +0000 http://downinme.com/2010/02/14/when-you-die-the-asphalt-will-let-out-a-cry/#comment-4905 Jem: I like where your mind went with that line, v-day, which is not where my mind was at all. There IS something controlled about my writing lately, too, you're right. Interesting. Your sharing observations help me. Thank you. Jem: I like where your mind went with that line, v-day, which is not where my mind was at all. There IS something controlled about my writing lately, too, you’re right. Interesting. Your sharing observations help me. Thank you.

]]> By: jem http://downinme.com/2010/02/14/when-you-die-the-asphalt-will-let-out-a-cry/comment-page-1/#comment-4904 jem Mon, 15 Feb 2010 11:14:50 +0000 http://downinme.com/2010/02/14/when-you-die-the-asphalt-will-let-out-a-cry/#comment-4904 A nice sense of control throughout this one. This is my favourite part - 'A handful of hurts like a monsoon of petals: say hello to them, say no to them: wrap you up in clear plastic and you say a prayer for lust.'. Great title too. And well timed amid all the plastic wrapped romance. A nice sense of control throughout this one. This is my favourite part - ‘A handful of hurts like a monsoon of petals: say hello to them, say no to them: wrap you up in clear plastic and you say a prayer for lust.’. Great title too. And well timed amid all the plastic wrapped romance.

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