i hate small teeth

14th September 2009

nobody likes your posturing
i mean the way you sit down to write
distilling so-called
existential truths

no, more than that
everybody wants your funny
your siren song
a floppy hat to signal the way

you in the front, with your eyes open
you don’t know where you’re going
you’re going to get us killed
ah, fuck it

nobody wants to see the inside of your nose
with a flashlight
when you’ve been picking at it
with a penknife

nobody wants you to speak in absolutes
nobody likes the way you hang your head
everyone hates that you’re so this
we’re all ticking our boxes

8 responses

  1. Rose Of Montague comments:

    Small teeth are kind of weird looking.

  2. ~otto~ comments:

    I like I Hate Small Teeth

  3. An Unreliable Witness comments:

    Oh, I know who this is about! This is about … it is, isn’t it? It’s about … yes, yes it is! I knew it!

  4. Ani Smith comments:

    Rose: They put me in mind of small yappy dogs.

    Otto: I Hate Small Teeth likes you back, snookums.

    AUW: IT’S ALL ABOUT MEEEEEEE! Remember?

  5. thom young comments:

    i love england

  6. Ani Smith comments:

    So do I, Mr Young; however, let it be noted that this poem has absolutely nothing whatever to do with English teeth!

  7. An Unreliable Witness comments:

    No, the English have big teeth so they can spend their time talking with silly posh accents, overly pronouncing their r’s, and sucking blood like upper middle-class vampires.

    So this poem is clearly about the French.

    I did think it was about the Welsh, but it didn’t mention coal mines, leeks and male voice choirs.

    Then again it could be about Romanians.

    This game could go on for hours. So let me end it once and for all. This poem is clearly about Icelandic puffins.

  8. Rose Of Montague comments:

    I will always be in favor of the conclusion involving puffins.

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