I killed Jesus Christ and he laughed at me
2nd June 2009I killed Jesus Christ and he laughed at me. His virginal robes billowed beneath him angelically as you might expect. His sandals glued to the floor, he bent double slowly backwards like a warming Twizzler. I smacked Jesus Christ repeatedly in the face with a white kitchen towel and his face beamed backlit with large Tom Cruise teeth. I continued to smack Jesus’s laughing face and when I couldn’t reach it any more - I didn’t want to get too close in case he bit me - I began to shoo him away from me by waving the towel in the air and hissing. Jesus died slow and painfully comical like a melting witch. I stayed living and laundered the kitchen towel and clipped it up to line dry.
3rd June 2009 at 3:26 am
I think you got the wrong Jesus. Somehow I always thought tom cruise was a Jesus wanna be ,maybe is the way he walks.
I think it was him that impersonated the one that died in the cross and fulled you. Tom belongs in the kitchen for sure, but it’s wired that he did not died, how did he become immortal.
PS: It’s his stunt
4th June 2009 at 6:37 pm
No no, it was Jesus Christ, our lord and personal saviour. I’m sure of it. I wouldn’t hang out with Tom Cruise.
4th June 2009 at 8:50 pm
I can perfectly well understand this reaction. Although in my case, I believe that Jesus would have had the smug, self-satisfied smirk of Jude Sodding Law.
4th June 2009 at 10:57 pm
ani,
grow a boner
6th June 2009 at 9:56 am
did he reresurrect?
8th June 2009 at 5:05 am
ellie: Jesus died, and it is alive as much as the virgin mary was virgin and had her child.
ani:I am glad you woudn’t hang out with him, he is too short for you, and probably you will need to buy him a mouth sealer to be able to bear with his company
9th June 2009 at 12:46 pm
Jesus with Tom Cruise’s teeth. This is the stuff of nightmares.