Something about some boring people
16th April 2009So here’s me. At the end of one row. Next to me a guy. Next to him a girl, but we’ll see more about her later. Across from me a guy. Next to him a guy. The guy next to me is wearing a suit in a conservative style. The guy across from me is also wearing a suit in a more fashionably conservative style. The guy next to him is wearing a fashionable suit. The guy next to me’s suit is grey. His shirt is light blue. His tie navy. The guy across from me’s suit is navy blue, his shirt is small navy and white checks. The collar is open. He has a five o’clock shadow. Dark hair. Light blue eyes. He reminds me of Hugh Laurie. Or a model for Brooks Brothers. His thighs are large. The guy next to Hugh his suit is brown. It fits slim. His shirt is bright pink. His tie is navy blue with tiny white polka dots. It has a large knot. It is off-centre. He has a brown mop top. His skin fair. His look is carefully constructed dishevelment. This guy, the guy next to Hugh - the guy diagonal - he’s eating a pot of noodles from Wasabi. He’s not using chopsticks, as I expected when he first pulled it out of the bag. He’s shovelling them in his mouth with a white plastic fork. Hugh is looking at the floor. His brow furrowed. He’s squinting to see something far off in his imagination. Every so often, he softly shakes his head no. The guy next to me’s thighs are slim. His legs are long. His face I daren’t look at. He is talking to the girl next to him. He’s excited by the conversation and faintly elbows me every time he makes a point. The girl is also eating. I can’t see what she’s eating out of a white container. It smells like more noodles. This girl, she’s a receptionist. The guy next to me, he’s a sales guy in the same office. They’ve been dating for a month. I’m bored. The guy diagonal finishes his noodles six stops too early. He wipes his mouth with a brown paper napkin. He stuffs everything back in to the bag. He looks like he doesn’t know what to do next. I can see his socks. I can see the outline of his cock. It is pointing left. His pant’s zipper and seam are aligned with the imaginary line that separates his left ball from his right ball. I imagine his ball sack is stiff, hot. Hugh’s pants have a looser fit. Probably his balls are bigger. He keeps shaking no. No. No. The guy next to me and the girl, his girlfriend now that I have deemed it so, they get off at Westminster. A thoroughfare. They are catching another one, to her place. She uses a diaphragm. I didn’t think those were available any more, but they are. It’s in her sensible black handbag. Next to the tampon. Beneath the lipstick. Behind the boredom she’s sating with the salesman tryst.
17th April 2009 at 10:02 am
Brilliant, it’s all in the detail.
17th April 2009 at 8:04 pm
Imaginary line.
17th April 2009 at 8:50 pm
Was it older Hugh Laurie or younger, upper class piano-playing twit Hugh Laurie of A Bit Of Fry And Laurie fame? Enquiring minds need to know.
(I’ve missed the point, haven’t I?)
PS: You didn’t mention which tube line. Details, please. This omission of tube line detail is becoming like a habit. A habit every two years, yes, but a habit nonetheless.
17th April 2009 at 9:26 pm
i want to go there.
18th April 2009 at 8:27 am
Unbearable didn’t only miss the point, he missed the line. There was no omission. Marc got it. The imaginary one. Right!?
18th April 2009 at 2:23 pm
Isabelle: You’re too sweet to me.
Marc: That’s what it feels like to me.
AUW: Hugh ‘Bit of Fry and Laurie’ Hugh because I haven’t actually seen House. And oh yeah, remember when I’d never been to King’s Cross?
Max: Where, to my house at rush hour? I don’t recommend it. But if you insist, bring vodka. Gin will do in a pinch.
Ellie: Sshhh! We’re not supposed to tell outsiders about that one!
18th April 2009 at 9:09 pm
The next time you do one of your wee audio things I’d give this one a go. I’d experiment of course but I think it would work quite well narrated at a pace, perhaps not quite as frantic a pace as ‘Not I’ but quickly and sober so you don’t trip over your words. That said I can also see it working with a rather lugubrious delivery where the words are savoured. Have a play with it and see what you think.
20th April 2009 at 1:04 pm
Good one. It’s like one of those Where’s Wally pictures, so many little people doing odd and interesting things, and someone just had to tell their story.
20th April 2009 at 9:44 pm
Jim: I don’t think I can read sober actually, but even sober I trip over my words all the time anyway. I’m just a terrible reader.
Jem: People are always doing something, aren’t they.