Sometimes I don’t know how much to exist
14th April 2009Squashed between a white chick, an asian lady and a black guy, I don’t know where to look. Could be one sweet, one hot, one kinky, and me. Could be what you saw on TV.
I close my eyes tonight and pretend I am a tiny floating speck. I don’t think about writing this. I think speck-like thoughts such as who’s for dinner and will we ever be love. Then I feel weightless, truly weightless. Turns out we crashed into an elephant. Luckily, I am a speck and as a speck I’m not hurt, just jostled. A little shook.
Sometimes I don’t know what much to make of my presence felt. I would badger with the phone but as a speck it’s really hard for me to dial your number. I feel so inadequate mainly owing to my size, but also to my lack of gravity.
I don’t want to be a speck anymore. I want to be a needle to inject you with my feeling. You’d come crying, wake up crying and tell me of your hurt. You’d come screaming, claw your face and wake up drenched again. And with the same old speck floating in your goddamn semen.
I love you. So much you could die.
14th April 2009 at 11:35 pm
‘so much you could die’
yes. there are a few people walking around that don’t know i’ve killed them like this.
xoxox
15th April 2009 at 2:33 am
mmmm, ani, your nice nice words
“but as a speck it’s really hard for me to dial your number”
likey
15th April 2009 at 1:07 pm
worrddddupppppp.
15th April 2009 at 3:32 pm
Shattered dream, like broken hearts,
Takes away the joy of life.
Every love that a liar gives
Is nothing but a gate of grief.
16th April 2009 at 1:13 am
Xtx: Love is kill or be killed.
Otto: Thank yew, stranger.
Ty: Ok, Vanilla Ice. ;)
Mariana: Thanks for sharing. I don’t understand how a liar can give love, though. If they are a liar surely their love is a lie and therefore not truly given? I am thinking about this too much, huh? :)
16th April 2009 at 12:09 pm
lovely, it made me want to stick out my tongue and catch the speck of you , like space dust on my tongue.
16th April 2009 at 8:23 pm
I don’t know how much to exist either. People tell me that I should exist that much, but I disagree and tell them it should only be this much. So then I get confused. Right now, I’m pretty sure that I don’t exist at all.
16th April 2009 at 11:56 pm
Isabelle: There are many who would become specks in a heartbeat just to be caught by you, no doubt. ;)
AUW: I am pretty sure you exist at least this much because otherwise I am making up imaginary friends again and that just doesn’t bear thinking about.