WANTED #7
9th March 2009Independently wealthy benefactor to subsidise eccentric-reclusive writing lifestyle. Must have own publishing contacts, be willing to arrange the particulars of successfully marketing the works, and handle any and all paperwork / accounting / legal matters. Must also procure suitable accommodation in remote locales that is conducive to creativity, and other essential provisions, including but not limited to mind-altering substances and mood stabilisers. Awkward asexual longing or rescue fantasies / mothering complexes are welcome traits. Inquiries via email only.
9th March 2009 at 10:29 am
This is my advertisement, and I want it back.
(I only got emails from broke stalkers though, so it didn’t work for me.)
9th March 2009 at 11:22 am
If you end up with a spare one left over, you know where to find me.
9th March 2009 at 11:32 am
After seeing ‘Misery’ all I have to say is, “Stuff your remote locale - I want people around me, lots of people just a stone’s throw away.”
9th March 2009 at 3:06 pm
Don’t listen to AUW, give us broke stalkers a chance. What we lack in funding and connections and general usefullness we make up for in unmatched eagerness to creep you out and sniff the things you’ve touched.
9th March 2009 at 3:55 pm
yes yes yes and yes
9th March 2009 at 4:41 pm
Stalkers sniff the things you touch? Really?
*wanders off, inhaling deeply, but not saying in whose living-room*
9th March 2009 at 7:57 pm
AUW: Yeah, all I’ve gotten is responses from other writers along the lines of ‘me too’. ;)
Hg: I think you may have have to join the queue, but I like you so you can jump forward a few places.
Jim: Good point, Jim, let Misery serve as warning to us all. No good can come of this writing malarkey. Just look at Unreliable Witness there, already lost a leg.
Asia: So YOU are the one who’s been sniffing my intimates? Well, well.
Otto: When I find my benefactor you are sooo invited to the party - err I mean, meeting - at the remote locale so we can uhh, work on our um, ‘collaborative piece’.
AUW: Stop that, this instant!
9th March 2009 at 8:01 pm
Dear Miss Smith - Please don’t tell everyone I’ve lost a leg. They might not notice. Also, I wish my kidnapper had been more like the one in Misery - mine took 18 months to saw through my leg with a plastic knife she got from the fish & chip shop. I had to lie very still.
10th March 2009 at 2:47 am
I think this is the one that’ll come true.
11th March 2009 at 9:55 am
AUW: Yeah, I’d been meaning to apologise about that. They were all out of proper butcher’s knives at the shop.
Jack: You are a cruel, cruel boy, Jack.
11th March 2009 at 11:34 pm
right right…i like the expressions that you english folk use.. in texas we say “ya’ll can write.” unless you live in Austin.. then you might say, “did you listen to the new Shins album, they are awesome writers.”