Fulfilling your destiny: a thin fable of less than epic proportions
9th February 2009
*sweet sweet bunny ass by potentially nervous
The bunny hopped into the cold room wearing only a t-shirt black-marker scrawled with the words RAPE ME. She’s not an extraordinarily pretty bunny so she doesn’t think anyone will want to rape her. Nor is she an extraordinarily astute bunny. She doesn’t think anyone will misconstrue her political anti-rape stance.
In the cold room, other bunnies are being raped. On the couch, on the floor by the couch, on the coffee table, two in the hallway. Bloody downy fluff bodies are pinned down by rope, by metal, by other bunnies. Jackalopes - mostly uneducated white male jackalopes from broken homes - push flailing bunny paws apart to discover the furry goodness between. Rape-me t-shirt bunny shuffles around like a somewhat shy punter surveying a shop piled to the rafters with useless antiques.
“Hey. Hey what the fuck do you think you’re doing?” A burly brown jackalope startles the bunny. She didn’t expect anyone to notice her. Much less speak to her.
“Um. Nothin’.”
“Get the fuck out of here.”
“Why?”
“Oh my god you’re so fuckin’ stupid. Come ‘ere. Dumb bitch.”
Well. We all know what happens next, don’t we? I know you saw it coming. Rape-me bunny did too. Somewhere in the back of her small bunny brain, nestled between the make-up tips she got at the lab, the daddy issues and the extra helping of carrot cheesecake guilt she had at lunch there was a large NO BUNNIES ALLOWED sign she wilfully ignored.
9th February 2009 at 9:17 pm
I (seriously) keep thinking I want a house-rabbit.
I’m -so- glad this entry reminded me not to dress it in a ‘rape me’ t-shirt. I might have forgotten otherwise.
10th February 2009 at 7:46 am
out of the closet indeed!
10th February 2009 at 3:12 pm
So that’s why I keep leaving my doors unlocked and sleeping with no underwear on. maybe I’ll make a “Rape Me” T-shirt this week.
10th February 2009 at 5:13 pm
What happened to the bunnies afterwards? Is there enough for a coat (mine is looking a little battered)?
10th February 2009 at 6:44 pm
This is well done. Reminds me of Spiegelman’s ‘Maus’ and I suppose ‘Animal Farm’. It’s amazing what you can get away with by using anthropomorphised animals.
10th February 2009 at 7:31 pm
I had a guinea pig when I was a boy.
(When I say ‘had’, I mean in the non-euphemistic sense, just to clarify.)
My guinea pig was not *that* sort of guinea pig. It just wore ‘kiss me quick’ underpants.
10th February 2009 at 11:59 pm
Roberta: I know, I want a rabbit, too. I think what would happen to any living thing under my care is exponentially worse than my stories, though.
Alice: Ssshh! Don’t tell them how deep the rabbit hole goes.
Asia: You too, huh? Do me a favour and scribble something nice like ‘feed me pancakes’ or something instead, okay?
Z: The bunnies joined a self-help group. They meet once a month and get drunk and cry and throw things. It’s supposed to help, though we’re not entirely sure with what.
Jim: Thanks, Jim. I’ve never read any of those. Oh no, my secret is out! I is not well red (sic). [Also, I think I stole that ‘i is not’ thing from An Unreliable Witness.]
AUW: Oh hey! Was just talking about you. Fancy that. ;) I never understood that kiss me quick business. What’s wrong with slow? Kiss me slow. I think that has a nicer ring to it.
11th February 2009 at 7:57 pm
*Watership Down (Martin Scorsese remake)*
“I’m always available for consultations on how to write convincingly unintelligent daft comments” ;)
Actually, this is written like a scene from a film. Excellent stuff Ani - Love it! :D
12th February 2009 at 3:58 am
Cheers, D. Leave daft comments any time you like, as long as they include the word ‘love’ somewhere in there. ;)