Look away this is not art it’s therapy and we’re lacking in sleep and super conscious of our mistakes but at least we’re together yeah
11th December 2008Death, come quietly to me; I’m sick of trying, trapped, bound. I want to lose the fear in a hacking coughing fit. I brought it up. I can spit it out, I try, I’m sick of trying, death come quietly, we need no more raucous inertia tonight. I’m sick of being you, waiting for you to come circles full and aching, bound bound bound. I just want a cock in mouth, a handle to hold of bicycle bars, breasts to nuzzle into and honk the horn; I forget myself. I should be insistently if not actively calling for death, this is the death prayer, but the fantasies of this reality hold me steady. Awake. Why am I still fucking awake? I’ve lost the thread and I care that you know.
The funny thing is that you just have to ask. Strangers, in public, just ask me: I’ll give you. Sit at my table uninvited: I’ll marry you. Sleep next to me on the early morning train: I’ll cuddle you. Push me to the back and force me: I’m the best victim. Just tell me what to do, Jack. Tell me what to do.
If you can’t smell me, do I really exist?
I can’t fucking believe / I rubbed one out / to a picture of your insecurity
11th December 2008 at 2:37 am
i can relate on some levels
11th December 2008 at 12:38 pm
you.kick.ass.
12th December 2008 at 10:55 am
I’m tired this morning and having a hard time concentrating but because of that I think I’ve identified what it is about this piece that I’m struggling with: it’s asking me to make too many decisions about who is talking and under what conditions. And this is a problem I’ve had with a couple of your more recent pieces. It’s not simply that I’m being asked to provide meaning - that’s a given - but you’re requiring me to do some of the writing, to fill in the details that I think are missing as opposed to interpreting what you’ve provided.
12th December 2008 at 9:55 pm
Xtx: Funny enough, that’s just how I feel about you.
Ty: You think so, Ty? I often feel a mean third-grader could take me.
Jim: It’s nothing new, Jim. I think it’s the same problem you’ve had with me all along and you’re absolutely right. That’s exactly how you’re supposed to feel because that’s how I feel, Jim. I don’t know what the fuck is going on! I am a million people and I commit to none - I can’t. I’m not sure why, but that’s unlikely to change. I kind of like it that way and I know of at least one other person who does, too. I am easy with expressing feelings and hard with opinions and taking a stand, I’ve no doubt that comes across in the writing. The title was a clue. Sometimes I just need to puke on the page. I don’t know. I kind of feel like apologising, but I’m not going to. Thanks for telling me exactly what you think, though, I appreciate that more than anything. Conventionally, I’m sure you’re absolutely right.
16th December 2008 at 1:47 am
the last 2 lines are beautiful