Comments on: Bitch http://downinme.com/2008/11/20/bitch/ “bad writing is characterized by obfuscation, showboating, narcissism, lack of a moral core, and style over substance." Fri, 11 May 2012 00:46:50 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.4 By: jem http://downinme.com/2008/11/20/bitch/comment-page-1/#comment-2310 jem Mon, 24 Nov 2008 12:13:32 +0000 http://downinme.com/?p=742#comment-2310 I've always found descriptions that liken people to food a little creepy - all that caramel skin stuff. You've trumped those here though - made me laugh! I’ve always found descriptions that liken people to food a little creepy - all that caramel skin stuff. You’ve trumped those here though - made me laugh!

]]> By: Ani Smith http://downinme.com/2008/11/20/bitch/comment-page-1/#comment-2308 Ani Smith Sun, 23 Nov 2008 16:53:44 +0000 http://downinme.com/?p=742#comment-2308 Z: Aw, cheers, mate. ;) Dinos X: Oh, I see what you both mean. I was thrown because I actually double-spaced this one all through out for added breathing room. Z: Aw, cheers, mate. ;)

Dinos X: Oh, I see what you both mean. I was thrown because I actually double-spaced this one all through out for added breathing room.

]]> By: dinOS X http://downinme.com/2008/11/20/bitch/comment-page-1/#comment-2293 dinOS X Fri, 21 Nov 2008 21:26:09 +0000 http://downinme.com/?p=742#comment-2293 You know, I've been trying to loose a bit of weight recently, but reading this has totally fucked up that idea! *reaches for the nearest sugar rush*. This it really well written you! :) By the way, I think Jim Murdoch may have meant a line space between "to run my tongue over" and "I'm sorry". Traditionally that would make it flow better for the reader, but I actually quite like the way it reads without that pause for thought. You know, I’ve been trying to loose a bit of weight recently, but reading this has totally fucked up that idea! *reaches for the nearest sugar rush*.

This it really well written you! :)

By the way, I think Jim Murdoch may have meant a line space between “to run my tongue over” and “I’m sorry”. Traditionally that would make it flow better for the reader, but I actually quite like the way it reads without that pause for thought.

]]> By: Z http://downinme.com/2008/11/20/bitch/comment-page-1/#comment-2291 Z Fri, 21 Nov 2008 20:54:01 +0000 http://downinme.com/?p=742#comment-2291 I think that's one of your best ever. I think that’s one of your best ever.

]]> By: Ani Smith http://downinme.com/2008/11/20/bitch/comment-page-1/#comment-2288 Ani Smith Fri, 21 Nov 2008 19:13:57 +0000 http://downinme.com/?p=742#comment-2288 xtx: Ho! ;) AUW: Believe me, I TRIED. I'm sorry, I love cheese, I do. It's just cheese isn't as sexy as gummi bears. Obviously. Jim: I did go back and forth between 'cascades' and 'cascade' and ultimately decided on 'cascade' because I wanted it as a noun. I can see how the next line invalidates that, though. Hmmm. Good call. (Not sure what you mean about line break though? Did you mean a full stop?) K: Mmmm, I think I was hungry when I wrote it. xtx: Ho! ;)

AUW: Believe me, I TRIED. I’m sorry, I love cheese, I do. It’s just cheese isn’t as sexy as gummi bears. Obviously.

Jim: I did go back and forth between ‘cascades’ and ‘cascade’ and ultimately decided on ‘cascade’ because I wanted it as a noun. I can see how the next line invalidates that, though. Hmmm. Good call. (Not sure what you mean about line break though? Did you mean a full stop?)

K: Mmmm, I think I was hungry when I wrote it.

]]> By: K http://downinme.com/2008/11/20/bitch/comment-page-1/#comment-2287 K Thu, 20 Nov 2008 21:50:19 +0000 http://downinme.com/?p=742#comment-2287 This made me hungry... This made me hungry…

]]> By: Jim Murdoch http://downinme.com/2008/11/20/bitch/comment-page-1/#comment-2285 Jim Murdoch Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:59:34 +0000 http://downinme.com/?p=742#comment-2285 Should it not be 'cascades'? And I think a line break after 'to run my tongue over' would help the flow. I feel the need to take a breath there. An interesting approach. You're not on a diet by any chance? Should it not be ‘cascades’? And I think a line break after ‘to run my tongue over’ would help the flow. I feel the need to take a breath there.

An interesting approach. You’re not on a diet by any chance?

]]> By: An Unreliable Witness http://downinme.com/2008/11/20/bitch/comment-page-1/#comment-2284 An Unreliable Witness Thu, 20 Nov 2008 09:51:20 +0000 http://downinme.com/?p=742#comment-2284 There is no cheese in this poem. Please correct this dreadful omission immediately, or I shall have to terminate my subscription to Dine In Me. Thank you. There is no cheese in this poem.
Please correct this dreadful omission immediately, or I shall have to terminate my subscription to Dine In Me.
Thank you.

]]> By: xtx http://downinme.com/2008/11/20/bitch/comment-page-1/#comment-2283 xtx Thu, 20 Nov 2008 03:00:20 +0000 http://downinme.com/?p=742#comment-2283 ha! ha!

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