sometimes when i see an insect or arachnid in my house, i stare at it and try to make it disappear, but it usually doesn’t work.

I think the reason the narrator feels out of place is that I had indeed originally planned it as dialogue only, but then realised I needed a couple of actions that couldn’t be dialogue (walking, snatching), but I didn’t need any more narrating than that. So the amount of dialogue isn’t less than or equal to the amount of narration, as I guess is usually the case. I don’t know if I mind that so much, but it was good to think about.

Lore: I had hoped giving the spider a voice would improve my own condition. I am still scared of taking a shower though, so I don’t think it worked.

Jereme: Not weird at all. I was just curious because that specific line happens to be a kind of tribute to my younger brother. It is his favourite line. :)

heh, it was too close to home. i’ve been that spider before. i laugh at wierd moments. i am weird.

i don’t understand why this would work better without the narrator. it is your story, not ours.

It would work better if you could keep it to just the dialogue. The narrator intrudes. With a little care you could ditch him completely.

So, what’s it tomorrow? Eve and the snake? And, no, that is not a writing prompt.

Cheerful One: Aren’t all spiders related?

Z: NOW you tell me … ;)

Clarissa: Me too, so cute! *squeal*

Jereme: Why just that line? I had rather hoped you’d smile throughout the whole thing.

you made me smile with the line ‘i’m fucking starving, yo”

this post reminded me of this video:

here