I think it’s about desperation, and the fear that there will be no spontaneous pleasure without specific instructions: there’s a faux-intimacy in the details that belies the lack of true, reliable intimacy.

i like to say your name in my mind with different british accents. they all sound horrible. i can’t do accents.

you are talking about learned behavior vs. instincts. the war between heart and mind. yes, the mind betrays and it will dominant. the instinctual behavior can be seen if you observe close and long though.

i like your point on death. existential terror is a motherfucker.

i don’t mind being alone. i’ve been alone my whole life even when i am with people. i do not fear it. i do think most do.

as for movies? if you pick a movie made by my employer, we will not be watching movies together much.

it is sunday and i am going to consume beer now.

see you in the gutters.

Notkeith: I hear sameoldshit.com is good, too. ;)

Ryan Manning: Hoho.

Jereme: I don’t know what I think about animal instinct. I mean, is it really the same for everyone of the same gender? How can we tell what’s natural, what we’re born with, and what we learn from society and through childhood? And where does that leave homosexuality and transexuals?

You’re right that the people in the story are not being intimate. I meant that they have a need for intimacy as well as sex, and they are trying to get those needs met in the best way they know how.

A lot of us more or less know how things should be done rationally, but in actuality something else takes over. Probably a combination of emotions, hormones, psychological problems, fears. Are these things ‘animal instincts’? Maybe in the sense that what drives everything (including loneliness) is the fear of dying.

Maybe in the story someone should say, we shouldn’t do this, we’re not compatible. But the fear of being alone is much greater. I see this scenario play itself out all the time in different guises.

Trust me, I have fucking fantastic taste in movies. ;)

i believe in animal instincts. we are animals at heart. we smile as a sign of submission. a smile directed towards a stranger means “please don’t hurt me” or “i want to fuck you”. it is instincts. males want to be dominant. males not wanting to be dominant are (typically) rife with psychological issues stemming from dysfunctional child hoods. it is a lack of confidence. they want to be dominant but are not confident. this is my opinion and not fact. i have been observing people for a very long time though. i think i am correct.

i didn’t view the people in this story as intimate. sitting naked accross from a woman and staring in her eyes for an hour is intimate. you have to be comfortable to do accomplish this. trust is paramount which is a direct corrolary to intimacy.

the acts in this story appear more about two people wanting to have sex without intimacy.

i concur on loneliness. real loneliness is feeling disconnected from oneself in the one’s own mind. if you feel alone in the depths of your mind, you cannot expect to have a healthy relationship with another human being. but you still try.

yes on the needy women. confident independent women are kind of scary to most men though. it is like hanging out with one of your male buddies but your buddy has a pussy. it makes for an odd feeling.

hey you can pick the movie, just don’t expect me to go all the time.

It’s like every time I’ve been in a bad club, or at a friend’s party, and there’s been a stripper. And I always end up thinking ‘that’s not sexy to me.’ Because it feels antiseptic. Or scripted.

Also, i think it’s that talking through things can talk them to death. And make them seem mechanical. Or that, in the context of the story, maybe it -is- mechanical rather than intimate, and that the conversation illustrates that.

Anyway, I liked it.

Jdean: Thank you for ranting. So many interesting points. For example, I can be mean and smarmy, too, but can’t pee standing, which is the only one that really bothers me, specially behind dumpsters late at night with a bladder full of beer. Um. Not that I often find myself in that position.

What you describe is more a symptom of needy women than women in general. I know because I am one, and believe me, if you sneeze or pick your nose in a strange way, it is a personal affront to me and my well being, a metaphor for our relationship, and a direct expression of your feelings for me. ;)

I don’t think all men want to be dominant, though, and I don’t think there’s necessarily anything wrong with those who don’t. That’s the kind of expectation that I think makes it difficult being a guy (of course, the reverse is true for girls, but it feels less pervasive, or less aggressive to me).

The male character in this piece though, is beyond merely submissive. There’s something wrong with this relationship, but ultimately they’re about meeting basic needs - getting off, being intimate, not being alone - in the only way they can. I think a lot of everything that’s fucked up stems from loneliness.

I remember telling Jim that when I write about sex, it’s never really about (or only about) sex. This proves it.

P.S. I always pick the movie, though.

being dominant gets a little tiresome though. sometimes i don’t want to make decisions, sometimes i don’t care where the hell i eat, sometimes i don’t want to pick the bullshit movie for the date. in those times i seek solitude which doesn’t go well with the ladies because i am ‘chosing’ to not spend time in their presence and that is misconstrued as a misprize of their company or love or whatever crazy things go through the mind of a woman in a relationship.

and i can explain a 1000 times my being alone is not an affront to their existence but they won’t really listen.

it is a cycle.

but i am not the one feeling ‘undervalued’ and ‘unloved’ so that is why i said i suppose it is okay to be a guy.

the above conversation, in my opinion, is not attractive because the male has no confidence. it reminds me of a 16 year old boy. he has a dick he really would like to use on some girls he fancies but his lack of confidence will always deter him and ensure the sex will never be good.

men want to be dominant (unless they are completely brain fucked by childhood trauma). communication is key though.

you telling me in an annoyed tone how you want to be fucked would not make my dick soar into erection.

i would grope and kiss and ask you what you liked. that is how it should be done.

I would cum where I pleased and deal with the negative consequences later (if there were any).

okay i am done ranting.

Jdean: Your name reminded me of the crush I had on James Dean when I was fourteen. :) I’ve always thought it must be hard being a man with everything that’s expected of you. I almost always like being a girl. What do you think? Is it hard, Jereme?

AUW: I can always count on you to lower the tone. ;)

… where was I?

Oh yes.

Memory.

A very short memory.

the sex would be horrible i think

this ‘male’ is very meek

the anti-alpha-male-male