Ugly
Ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly.
2 September 2008 at 8:23 pm
Hmm. Are you sure you wanted to use the thirty-seventh ‘ugly’? I think this would have read better if you had omitted it, and skipped straight from the thirty-sixth to the thirty-eighth. And as for the sixty-third ‘ugly’, that would have been better written as ‘ugly’. That’s what I would have done.
(You’re not.)
2 September 2008 at 10:32 pm
That full stop carries an air of defiant, unarguable finality that is rather unsettling.
2 September 2008 at 11:00 pm
Clean, simple, elegant, effective: how can a poem about major lack of self-esteem be these things?
3 September 2008 at 7:59 am
I know that feeling..
3 September 2008 at 9:17 am
And I thought the weather was bad…
3 September 2008 at 9:53 am
AUW! The thirty-seventh ‘ugly’ is essential, crucial – primary, I’d say. Read it aloud, feel the arrangement of spoken words alternating stressed and unstressed elements and you’ll see it yourself :P
3 September 2008 at 12:07 pm
Lore - Far be it from me to disagree with your eminent personage, but I must - respectfully - do so.
I think what people are missing out on here, but which a true geniarse such as myself spotted immediately upon reading the post, is that this piece of prose poetry is, in fact, about shopping for fruit and vegetables in the local Sainsbury’s retail emporium of fine foods. I am not sure that the writer, Mr Andi Smythe, even fully appreciates the true significance of what he has written.
Each of the uses of “ugly” in this piece relates to the discovery of yet another unappetising specimen of fruithood or vegetabledom. Ugly banana. Ugly apple. Ugly cabbage. Ugly tomato. And yet, the aforementioned and entirely crucial thirty-seventh “ugly” is entirely incorrect, since it should in fact be “ugli”. As in ugli fruit. A beautiful ugli fruit. The irony of finding a beautiful ugli amidst all the ugly, erm, uglyness. Yes. That’s right.
So, starting from the thirty-fourth “ugly”, for instance, this poetic piece of prose poetry with added prose should read: “ugly ugly ugly UGLI ugly ugly ugly …” et cetera, et cetera, et caeterum.
I hope this brief explanation has clarified matters to all the readers of Handy Smiff’s fine weblog.
(You’re still not.)
3 September 2008 at 3:57 pm
I had to visit ugli.com to realize you’re a genius. Lux et veritas. And we can also prepare a mojito (with the ugly ugli.)
4 September 2008 at 6:26 am
AUW: Every single ugly was carefully considered, thank you.
Hg: You’re a details man. I like that. ;)
Jim: What? Lack of self-esteem you say? Preposterous!
Cheerful One: You shouldn’t do …
Itelli: Sometimes you just have one of those days, eh?
Lore: You tell ‘im, Lore!
AUW: Do you know what? Sometimes you really frighten me.
Lore: I’ll get the Bacardi …
4 September 2008 at 3:28 pm
That is exactly, without a single variation, what I was thinking.
4 September 2008 at 11:26 pm
That made me laugh.
5 September 2008 at 6:52 pm
I’m not sure about the eleventh word on line twenty-seven.
5 September 2008 at 7:34 pm
bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny … Don’t mind me, i could be here some time … Bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny … Hey, look, you know what they say about if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em … Bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny [repeat to fade]
5 September 2008 at 9:11 pm
Carla: Hello and welcome. :)
Your Wandering Mind: You know what they say about laughter …
Drodbar: Don’t encourage them!
AUW: Bunny? Mr Witness, I do declare I have no earthly idea what you could possibly be going on about.
5 September 2008 at 10:05 pm
Does the beautiful bunny unenglishly bunt an ugly ugli?
6 September 2008 at 1:16 pm
magnificent, in its focus, and the stopping on the
36 ugly with a period is genius.
tho., this is a depressing poem, too.
i’ll have to try something close to this.
9 September 2008 at 3:47 am
Well, this has grabbed people’s attention, for many reasons. Subject matter is of course one, but it is visually striking too! … and to me, it actually “looks” beautiful, which is odd no?
This made me laugh initially, then smile, and then a little sad, leaving me wanting to give you a reassuring hug.
I too noticed the full stop at the end being very defiant statement. Also, the first word starting with a capital letter makes it a very self contained slab of ugly! Without them, you have the sense that you have the word continuing into infinity. But in that scenario, it is not known whether the strength of the word will fade over time or not, like a conscious thought becoming subconscious over time, but the effect of that becoming almost psychologically permanent.
I also think that it’s interesting that most of them are all lowercase. As if you are thinking this in a “talking to yourself” way, rather than shouting it out to the world, which is what it would’ve felt like if it were all written in caps.
Right.
Now all that remains to say is “no you are not”… NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO… you get the idea ;D
Thanks to both you and AUW, I have this in my mind - ugly bunny ugly bunny ugly bunny ugly bunny ugly bunny ugly bunny… there is no such thing as an ugly bunny of course. You know that to be true don’t you?
15 September 2008 at 3:26 am
This is very zen. I like the bunny reply. How fun….oh and I just saw ‘ugly bunny’. Shit, your post would make a great billboard campaign back in the states….oh, if only I were a millionaire…..a really ugly millionaire.
15 September 2008 at 6:57 pm
Cheers, Jade, Dinos and Ben. You’re all right in your own ways and that’s what I dig about you.
24 September 2008 at 7:22 am
Oi!