Forced to express a desire

30th July 2008

I want to lay horizontally across your lap, resting in the bend of your arm with my cheek on your chest, my ear to your heartbeat, my nose poised to inhale you; my bottom on your thigh and my legs dangling off the side - your free hand reaching across me, stroking me gentle but sure - first my shoulder, upper arm, my elbow, my hand. Then my stomach, the side of my torso, my hip, thigh, knees. I want you to speak to me softly, sweetly. Tell me something kind, preferably about me, but nothing too obvious. I will reach up to stroke the side of your face, your neck; to feel how solid your shoulder, your chest. You can take my hand in yours and bring my palm to meet your lips. I’ll feel a touch of self-consciousness, wondering how my fingers smell, but this feeling will dissipate with your calming, tender kiss. I want you to lightly brush the hair off my forehead and kiss the bridge of my nose. Smile faintly at me. I want every deliberate action to reiterate my safety and existence. Every affirmative gesture securing my place in the physical world.

17 responses

  1. lissa comments:

    beautiful.

  2. Your Wandering Mind comments:

    Yes; very nice. Are you a romantic at heart?

  3. An Unreliable Witness comments:

    Nice weather we’re having.

  4. Jim Murdoch comments:

    This is a nice gentle piece but I have to ask about the title: Why forced? Nothing in this piece seems the slightest bit forced. And who is being forced? I suspect it’s not the narrator. Is it that by placing herself in this situation - or should I say intending to place herself in this situation - she is hoping to force the responses she relates in the piece?

  5. Z comments:

    Aw! You sentimental thing :)

  6. Ani comments:

    Lissa: Thank you. :)

    Your Wandering Mind: Isn’t everyone at times?

    AUW: Bit hot, don’t you find?

    Jim Murdoch: The title comes from forcing oneself to admit such vulnerability. Not an easy thing to do, I find. I like your interpretation, too, though, of forcing the responses, so in that way, I’m glad it was open-ended.

    Z: Am not! Shush. ;)

  7. Cynthia comments:

    Oh, yeahyeahyeah, you’ve described heaven in
    such gentle writing and honesty.

  8. DougTheBug comments:

    I want… I need”. Human’s selfish flesh connections. It’ll end. It’ll end.

  9. Ian comments:

    You’re a kitty!

  10. Jose comments:

    Just because you use “dissipate”, “reiterate”, “existence” and “affirmative gesture” does not make this sentimental piece of trash good. This is masturbation in words. Read more. Write better. Stop this Nora Roberts trash.

  11. Chelsea comments:

    I found this charmingly honest and real, in fact it hits very close to home. And I love it.

    That isn’t to say I don’t somewhat agree with “Jose,” it is obviously amateur writing. “Masturbation in words…” implies it was written with purely selfish motives… and not meant for the rest of the world to fall in love with. Which is okay, perfectly fine.

    It is honest, and it touched me. Thank you for sharing.

  12. erratic static comments:

    …pardon me, but was this actually supposed to be “critiqued”? I read it as simply someone writing because they needed to say something.

  13. Bruce comments:

    Erratic Static gets it. This is what the internet should be all about. A forum of open expression. No need to be callous or rude. I loved this poem. It was simple and true.

  14. Natasha comments:

    Dear Vocabulary Nazi,

    This was not about vocabulary, syntax, parallelism, metaphors, and the thousands of words of figurative language techniques, which are only helpful on high school AP tests, and SATs. Unfortunately the world is full of people like you that take something pure, and innocent and analysis it to such an extent that it truly is worthless.
    I love this piece, not for the vocabulary, syntax, parallelism, or metaphors but because it is a plethora of feeling that adds to one of the most powerful emotions love.
     BEAUTIFUL

  15. juice comments:

    I believe you should have said analyze rather than analysis. The reason people focus on vocabulary, syntax, and all that jazz is because it is the proper way to communicate through the written word. People like you are why the english language is going to hell.

  16. juice comments:

    That was directed at natasha who is a self righteous douche. Pardon my french. lol

  17. Ani Smith comments:

    Hello Stumbleuponers,

    Glad you found this little piece. I’m not interested in grammar and usage wars or name-calling (unless we’re in a dungeon and I’m calling you daddy) so I’m going to close this little box now, but if you’re really feeling crazy you can click DOWN IN ME up at the top there and check out some more recent stuff to happily smear your opinion all over. Or you can whisper it right in my ear by emailing me.

    Love,
     Ani

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