It is probably stating the obvious to say you are not the first to have this thought. That said you express it well. The poem works and if it was presented alone on a single page it would be especially effective.
My main thought here is how to make more of it. I think the title could be better. You’ve used ‘alone’ and ‘lonely’ in the poem but what about ‘lone’, as in ‘The Lone Ranger’? How does loneness differ from aloneness? Why is the solitary individual in the poem not lonely? Does loneness suggest a form of completeness? I might have called the poem ‘One’ and brought the mathematical aspect into the work.
See, your poem has made me think. Never a bad thing.
Isabelle: Ah well, that at least, is more easily remedied. Come down to London, we’ll show you a good time.
Your Wandering Mind: That’s using your rose-coloured specs.
Jim Murdoch: Do you know? I am not the first to have had any of the thoughts I have ever had. That really bugs me sometimes when I think about it. I think ‘loneness’ may have been what Z was referring to there, and possibly something more positive? Positivity is not something I like to encourage. ;)
Dinos: Gosh, do you copyright all your deep thoughts? :)
On the subject of new and original thoughts … what I find a little depressing is that I’ll invent a new word every now and then and will be quite pleased with myself only to Google it and find that 5000 people have had that selfsame thought before me. And the more people there are the more competition for original thoughts there will be.
I think I’m going to lie down and just die and be done with it now.
25 July 2008 at 11:11 am
Me too. I really like it.
25 July 2008 at 11:45 am
I am not alone.
I am lonely.
25 July 2008 at 2:40 pm
I prefer to think of it as independence.
25 July 2008 at 7:40 pm
It is probably stating the obvious to say you are not the first to have this thought. That said you express it well. The poem works and if it was presented alone on a single page it would be especially effective.
My main thought here is how to make more of it. I think the title could be better. You’ve used ‘alone’ and ‘lonely’ in the poem but what about ‘lone’, as in ‘The Lone Ranger’? How does loneness differ from aloneness? Why is the solitary individual in the poem not lonely? Does loneness suggest a form of completeness? I might have called the poem ‘One’ and brought the mathematical aspect into the work.
See, your poem has made me think. Never a bad thing.
28 July 2008 at 2:24 am
Very nicely written. I do love your short but to the point entries :)
I like the title myself… as there are infinite truths.
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Lonely Is An Eyesore © 4AD 1987
… and I feel lonely © Dinos 2008
28 July 2008 at 7:08 pm
Z: Physically maybe.
Isabelle: Ah well, that at least, is more easily remedied. Come down to London, we’ll show you a good time.
Your Wandering Mind: That’s using your rose-coloured specs.
Jim Murdoch: Do you know? I am not the first to have had any of the thoughts I have ever had. That really bugs me sometimes when I think about it. I think ‘loneness’ may have been what Z was referring to there, and possibly something more positive? Positivity is not something I like to encourage. ;)
Dinos: Gosh, do you copyright all your deep thoughts? :)
29 July 2008 at 10:38 am
On the subject of new and original thoughts … what I find a little depressing is that I’ll invent a new word every now and then and will be quite pleased with myself only to Google it and find that 5000 people have had that selfsame thought before me. And the more people there are the more competition for original thoughts there will be.
I think I’m going to lie down and just die and be done with it now.
29 July 2008 at 10:35 pm
Will truth #0949 be along in a minute? Only I’m bored and I’ve run out of Wensleydale.
30 July 2008 at 9:00 am
Jim: I know, I hate it when that happens!
AUW: Have a Babybell, dear.