When you stop
27th June 2008I’m cobbled together haphazardly, bits and pieces of everything I’ve ever seen. Though if you disassemble me and inspect the parts, you won’t find me there. No essence, no depth, no soft or hard core, no creamy center. I’m a container and mostly self-contained, just don’t pop the lid. I’m a completed jigsaw puzzle, pictures of a destination wedding, a journal of selected memories carefully recorded in my sleep.
27th June 2008 at 11:07 pm
fucking hell , the first 2 sentences i felt like it was me, the last 2 , no. self contained is not me, I wish it was ( sometimes ) but i seem to be sick every where.
27th June 2008 at 11:09 pm
Okay, I’ll come clean Isabelle, the self-containment bit might be stretching the truth a touch.
27th June 2008 at 11:32 pm
the first 3 is what I meant…
28th June 2008 at 1:10 am
i love it. the second line’s my favorite.
28th June 2008 at 8:29 am
I don’t know if you can tell what’s there. Surely there’s a difference if you disassembled you, or if someone else did? They would find all the bits you didn’t know were there, and I bet there’s more of those than you think.
(The “I’m a container…” line is my favourite)
28th June 2008 at 10:50 am
Nice piece. You might want to rethink ‘pictures of a destination wedding’ though. My reasoning behind this is that everything else in the piece is generic; this is specific. I think it would be more effective if you could think of something else here. Not quite sure myself what I have to admit. And as ‘jigsaw’ is singular shouldn’t ‘pictures’ also be singular?
28th June 2008 at 11:46 pm
there’s too much lonely in self-contained. at least for me. i love this piece.
29th June 2008 at 12:33 pm
Lissa: You are good for my self-esteem. Please come back and tell me you love my lines every day. Thank you. ;)
Z: You’re absolutely right. I know what’s there, for the most part, but there are bits that can only be discovered and catalogued by others. I think this little paragraph is partly about the yearning for that kind of connection.
Jim: Thanks, Jim. It’s funny you mention that because ‘pictures of a destination wedding’ was a phrase that came so naturally and instantaneously that I never questioned it. Although the other things (puzzle and journal) are more general, they’re all a big thing made up of smaller things.
Thehappymisfit: You’re absolutely right. Not to mention that it’s largely an illusion that keeps us socially awkward people from shooting ourselves in the face. ;)
29th June 2008 at 2:47 pm
Good one. A lot to relate to in this. Although if I am a jigsaw, I’m clearly lacking a few pieces, and I’ve had to take my scissors to a few others to make them fit, and the picture doesn’t resemble anything recognisable.
29th June 2008 at 3:10 pm
Somehow, during this weekend I have not been able to find crucial pieces of my jigsaw. I was going to check down the back of the sofa, but I realised even before starting that task that it would be pointless.
Oh, and … TENTH!
29th June 2008 at 4:05 pm
Jem: Not to be predictable, but those really are the very best kind of puzzles.
AUW: Don’t bother, darling, I saw the box cover. It is just a picture of cute kittens again. [ELEVENTH!]