Chi conosce la natura la rispetta
I got melted chocolate all over the cover of my copy of Factotum. Not the vodka tonics, not the fucking Berbera, but chocolate. Somehow, I don’t think he’d approve. I’m a failure as a writer. I do what I’m told, like I go to the races to try to bet on this horse, but he takes off before I’ve committed to him. He gives me that deep sideways stare that says whatever horses say. Frankly, I would prefer a straight up hind kick to the chest to make it stop pounding when the many drinks pass through me. Still too sober. Always too sober. But I didn’t pay for a single one, not with cash. I gotta dump this load of Superfluous I’ve been lugging ‘round my neck, but I’m not quite sure where. I’m environmentally conscious, I say. You don’t care for your body or your home, he says, before putting my copy of Factotum to his nose. It fucking stinks, he whinges. I love that I can still turn anything to shit just by believing. This paragraph has been brought to you by the colour burgundy, the number three-hundred and twelve and the stench of self-loathing.
9 June 2008 at 10:25 pm
Self loathing? No! Go away!
Is that god damn stool giving you shit? Remember, you are supposed to be a lesbian! ;-)
10 June 2008 at 3:07 am
Self loathing should take a hike into the countryside and get lost.
10 June 2008 at 7:46 am
Far be it from me to criticise, but I have a couple of points to raise. 1) Details, details, details. What sort of chocolate was it? I’m imagining something classy, rather than, well, you know, a melted Mars bar. 2) You say “I’m a failure as a writer”; our survey says “Nuh-nuh”.
10 June 2008 at 1:29 pm
My favorite part is the horse bit (no pun intended), especially the “hind kick to the chest” part. Could you please write something with the word “schism?” I love that word as it brings back memories of my youthful head-banging days with the metal band Anthrax. I believe you could do something very powerful with this word.
10 June 2008 at 5:40 pm
I agree with Z and Clarissa - give poor old self-loathing a wee break. You take more than your fair share.
11 June 2008 at 10:57 am
Clarissa: What makes you think I’m NOT a lesbian, babe? (If you ever leave the Mista, call me!)
Z: If only!
AUW: Chocolate is chocolate is chocolate. I’ve been known to eat chocolate rice cakes in desperation.
Your Wandering Mind: Schism, yes. Some words are sweet-rich-velvety chocolate on the tongue, eh?
Drodbar: Cheers, Neil. I just might try, for you (no promises though).