Down In Me

My most comfortable position

Stretched out with my legs perched on his lap, a cigarette between my lips, is my most comfortable position. Except maybe for that moment in bed, when I turn onto my stomach and drift off to sleep, safe in the knowledge that I’m being watched. Much later, when I open my eyes to find his, I pretend he never slept. It’s selfish and illogical I know, but some needs don’t answer to reason and needs longing for fulfillment are 95% of the impetus for nearly everything in life.

You give me magic and I give you grief.”

I wonder about this discrepancy, but gamely end up putting it down to my distorted sense of self. I take comfort from his words, I take comfort from his skin and though it does happen, there’s very little of his I don’t take comfort from. And of that from which I take no comfort, I take knowledge, experience, or something equally useful. The point is I’m lazy, but lucky in some respects. I find comfort I can take, positions I can hold, and sometimes that’s enough.

5 responses

  1. imogen comments:

    skin and footholds are enough. i’ve learned. if you’re willing to hold on tight and not even think about the fall.

  2. An Unreliable Witness comments:

    Beautiful - yet also disarming in its honesty.
    Which is a very rare thing to read these days.

    Though I have to deduct a couple of points due to the noticeable lack of any references to cheese.

  3. noplanb comments:

    beautiful voice

  4. Z comments:

    Being lazy and lucky really is something worth having. I’ve decided I must emanate something valuable from my torpidity, or I wouldn’t be allowed the laziness.

  5. Ani comments:

    Imogen: As the wise Buzz Lightyear once said, this isn’t flying, it’s falling with style.

    AUW: More references to cheese. Duly noted.

    Noplanb: Hello and welcome, and thanks. :)

    Z: I’m sure I must emanate something valuable on occasion. Can’t think what it is at the moment.

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