Ex-Boyfriend Letters #13
Dear Ex-Boyfriend,
It should gladden you to know that I thought of you today. Cleaning the counter top with new Sainsbury’s lime-scented all-purpose wipes that smell suspiciously of your cologne, I was reminded of the way you used to spray Thurston Bear with it so that I would continue feeling close to you when you went to get lost in the woods. I mean camping.
Speaking of my bear, he’s gone mysteriously AWOL since the last time you were here. You didn’t, by chance, load him up in the box with the CDs, did you? That is a completely non-accusatory and innocuous question.
The actual and imperative reason for this missive, however, is that we are dangerously low on kitty litter. If you do not honour the terms of our joint custody agreement I will be forced to resume calling the cat, Siouxsie. He has no self-conscious awareness of gender and I maintain that his green eyes light up the room every time he hears Painted Bird.
Domestically yours,
Your Ex-Girlfriend
3 April 2008 at 8:38 pm
Goth cats called Siouxsie? A bear named Thurston?
For pity’s sake, it’s like it’s still 1989 round here. I’m off. I’m too ‘down with da kidz’ to be seen round here.
4 April 2008 at 3:20 am
Jon Brion who produced Kanye West’s last album and did the soundtracks for ‘Magnolia’, ‘Punch Drunk Love’ and ‘I heart Huckabees’ did an album before all that called Meaningless. The guy can write near perfect pop songs. There is one called ‘You can still ruin my day’ which is really great. So there’s that! Pet the bird.
4 April 2008 at 9:10 am
AUW: Shush. I am timeless AND timely, as you well know. Tomorrow I will write a post about Amy Winehouse or whoever is in the papers currently. Um. Who IS in the papers currently again?
Ben Prisk: Hello and welcome, Mr. Prisk. I am filled with joy at the mention of Jon Brion! Three of my favourite movies (!) plus he also did one of my most favourite soundtracks, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Without question, I shall have to dig up Meaningless (the title alone sounds like my sort of thing).
5 April 2008 at 12:21 pm
I have an ex-relationship that smells like bleach. Yours was definitely more upmarket and more evolved in the domestic scales.