You fucking stink
20th February 2008Artichoke shower gel and
Spaghetti shampoo
Organic acid grapefruit skin
With a pizza ass amble
Minty tartar exhale
Chili perspired
paste and taste
And arousal honey fingertips
FUCK OFF
I’M NOT A BREEDER
constitution mushy
I’m delicate petals
and shame
20th February 2008 at 5:50 pm
And perhaps fragile too, but why the shame?
20th February 2008 at 8:29 pm
Capital letters.
Oh dear.
You’re in a bad mood, aren’t you?
21st February 2008 at 8:45 am
Jojoba condoms
and some green
parsley lubricant.
21st February 2008 at 11:10 am
Ariel: Oh, you know… everything, pretty much. (I’m not exaggerating, either.)
AUW: WHAT?! I AM NOT IN A MOOD! HOW DARE YOU!
Jack: Naturally, my dear.
21st February 2008 at 8:20 pm
as i was reading jack’s comment, my partner was having a hissy fit in the other room, and i’d just taken a big mouthful of coffee — i am now trying to dry off the keyboard and desktop.
plus, ani, before all of that happened, i really wanted to say — *thud*
21st February 2008 at 9:45 pm
You are not a breeder? Me either!
22nd February 2008 at 4:35 pm
Imogen: I meant for readers of this poem to have hissy fits, coffee accidents and thuddy thuds. Oh yes. I love it when a plan comes together.
Clarissa: No, I’m really not. I have a million reasons against and only one in favour (that being those deliciously chubby cheeks all infants seem to share).
23rd February 2008 at 5:13 pm
Don’t be fooled by the chubby cheeks, they are designed to perfectly fit the contents of your chubby wallet as they reach their teens (just prior to telling you how you being nice to them throughout their childhood has ruined their life).
Cynic? Me?
24th February 2008 at 7:36 pm
IanB: Hello and welcome. Make that a million and one reasons against.
24th February 2008 at 7:51 pm
The great thing about not being a breeder is that you can borrow the chubby cheeked ones to squeeze, and hand them back when they start throwing up and shitting. Otherwise apparently you are stuck with them forever. There are advantages to this too, especially when they go out to get you pizza on a Sunday night (I keep telling myself).
3rd March 2008 at 3:05 pm
This is perhaps, my favorite post of yours yet.
Makes me giggle every time.
Every damned time.