Heard tell
14th February 2008Random things people have said to, about, or in front of me:
[During a business trip] “Venezuela is the arse end of the world.”
[After reading a letter I wrote] “You’re starved for love.”
[With detectable pride] “My father refused to watch baseball when they started allowing black people to play.”
[On Hilary Clinton] “Even women aren’t voting for that bitch.”
[Drunk outside the pub] “I hate you fucking Americans. I’m a nice guy, really. I fucking hate you.”
[A month or two before disappearing] “Don’t worry, we’ll take care of you, support you.”
[Male colleague about female colleague] “She deserves to be violently raped.”
[Colleague, upon learning I’d been hired] “Another one?”
[Without a hint of irony] “Shopping is women’s work.”
[Stranger on the street] “You’re too pretty and young to be smoking.”
[After telling a Hitler joke] “Hahaha! Haha. Ha.” [Crickets.]
[Monumentally stupid colleague] “George Bush is a really smart man, he’s just playing to the lowest common denominator.”
[Someone I love] “I think you are as confused and bewildered as only some of us are prepared to admit.”
[My mother, upon making the shocking discovery that I have male friends] “What, like with benefits?”
[Male colleague about female colleague] “Mmmm. She’s fucking tasty.”
[Executive twat, introducing me to higher-up executive twat] “This is Ani. I’m not sure what she, uhh, does… here.”
[About a lovely man] “I wouldn’t date a white guy. Ew.”
[Genuine friend] “You’re safe now.”
14th February 2008 at 8:48 pm
:-)
i love the one by the stranger on the street.
14th February 2008 at 9:19 pm
You undoubtedly know, have met, or have had dealings with some very strange people. I am scared.
15th February 2008 at 9:27 am
An unreliable witness: Unfortunately, the comments Ani reports seem indicative of some of the people I have met as well…
15th February 2008 at 8:11 pm
People can be depressing. Genuine Friend and Someone I Love sound good people, though: the sort that almost make everything worthwhile, that make you think ‘if only everyone could be like them’. But ‘if only’ is a futile thought, very sadly.
16th February 2008 at 10:13 pm
My mother thinks kinda like yours, except the benefits would be that he could help me paint if he were a painter etc
17th February 2008 at 4:10 pm
Hrishi: Hello and welcome. I don’t take kindly to criticism of my habits. However, since he tempered it with compliments, I forgave him.
AUW: You damn well should be.
Colombo: Hello and welcome to you, as well. Sad, isn’t it?
Drodbar: Right you are, old chap, right you are.
Lillipilli: My mother and your mother sound like they would get along famously.
21st February 2008 at 3:55 pm
hell is…