Just Stop (Heady Bullshit #4)
I am deathly ill from ingesting your self-referential masturbatory bullshit really if you’re going to write just fucking write and stop fucking moan worrying about whether and what they will think of you when they think of you if they think of you what they think of you when you think that only you have ever felt or known or worried or prayed or fucked or seen or acted or cried or screamed you’re delusional so stop come off your knees stop begging for forgiveness justification permission retribution validation for your writing and don’t fucking apologise for using the words whatever words however words whichever words whenever words you use when you feel like using them destroying them creating them fondling them mishandling them loving them grammatically disregarding them if they’re in your mind you thought of them gave birth to them puked them shit them expelled them exhaled them they came from somewhere but you thought of them they’re in you now and hopefully out of you soon because this this this most beautiful of fucking languages was made for you given you expressly to use to love understand to connect so fucking use it use the fuck out of it and stop worrying about who will get it and who won’t and stop worrying about who will call you names and who won’t and who thinks you’re full of shit and who sees your head up your own ass and who buys your work is art and who buys your work of art to plaster all over their bellies and who sells your ideas and who steals your ideas and who tickles your nose with their shit and who fondles your breasts with their word hands and who wants head and who wants head fuck and who wants you to stop just stop worrying about what it means to others just stop worrying stop worrying and write stop worrying and write. Stop worrying. And write.
11 January 2008 at 5:14 pm
Yes.
11 January 2008 at 9:10 pm
327 words about just writing. [Yes, I did count them. Want to make something of it?]
So it’s very very fortunate, then, that you can do so this memorably, isn’t it?
11 January 2008 at 9:30 pm
ok ok ok I was just warming up, you know, testing the waters, being polite, being english, being repressed, not alienating my audience, trying to please, trying to relate, trying not to get so fucking out there no-one knows what the fuck I am talking about, trying to hard, yes, yes
11 January 2008 at 10:38 pm
[sigh.]
yes. so. exactly.
12 January 2008 at 4:45 am
Thanks for the reminder. I should print it out or cut and paste it or clipboard it in whatever of the many little widgets that are out there, keep it at hand to hit myself over the with because
comment interrupted by overthinking and fear and concern.
12 January 2008 at 10:01 pm
If you write it raw: ‘see me, feel me, touch me, heal me’, then anyone who doesn’t respond by reaching out to you in their own rawness is either a coward or a shit.
Nothing’s easy, though. No need to be hard on yourself. Worrying’s cool. If you really don’t feel like writing, treat yourself to a nice hot bath instead.
13 January 2008 at 8:49 pm
I had a distinct feeling some of you might relate to this…
Jess: Indeed.
AUW: You are biased. And sweet.
Peach: Exactly!
Imogen: *sigh too*
Clarissa: Heh. I know, easier said than done.
Drodbar: Oh, I always feel like writing. Hot baths are nice, too, though. Hmm…
15 January 2008 at 2:15 am
Some day we will be able to pull out portions of our psyche and digitalize them, put them into a video game, and have different parts fight on-screen for amusement.
16 January 2008 at 4:12 pm
2ndhandsoul: I hope you’re right. I’d play that.
19 January 2008 at 7:24 pm
[…] Down In Me: Just Stop (Heady Bullshit #4) (Nominated by […]
20 January 2008 at 2:55 pm
Substitute live for write, as they are one and the same thing, and as such interchangeable.
24 January 2008 at 2:23 am
Sorry I’m late.
I liked the idea of linguistic breast-fondling. Please let me know when it is my turn. OE