No one listens when you breathe, at night
As a way to become more aware. Self discovery, awareness. The key to this, to everything.
Listen to me, okay? You have to listen carefully. LISTEN! I know who you are, I know what you’re on about, I know what hurts, why and how it does and for who. I know. I can’t tell you how I know but just know that I know. This pain, I’m sorry to be the one to have to tell you this, but this pain, it never relents. Never. You just have to learn to live with it, okay? I know what this sounds like. Just trust me. Learn to endure it as best you can and know how because it’s not going anywhere. It goes where you go. It sees what you see. It touches those you touch, so if I were you, I’d touch no one. It’s there, it’s here. Forever. So you just do the best that you can do and you don’t run, okay? The best that you can. That’s what they advise and that’s what I’m advising you now. There’s nowhere to run so you don’t waste energy on running, you understand me? You escape only to be brought back kicking and screaming so don’t fight. Don’t waste resources, they’re limited. What you have to do is much more simple. You just sit tight and in pain, tight and in pain. Tight. And in pain. And then one day, one day when the last thing you expect is to never sit tightly, that day… that day, as everyone says, that day you’re free.
But only if you listen to me. Listen to me and do what I tell you to do and don’t look anywhere else. Don’t trust. Nobody’s here for you. They’re all here for themselves. You just listen. To me. Do. What I tell you. Awareness. It’s key.
What’s that? LOOK OUT! Behind you!
29 December 2007 at 6:18 pm
Sort of what I’m feeling like right now … tight and in pain, but then surprised on all fronts by assailants.
Oh, Ani dear, maybe you *are* all-knowing. Certainly you are wise. :)
29 December 2007 at 7:46 pm
This comes across like some kind of patchwork of flicking through obscure audio books of many different self-help manuals, yet in one true voice rather than a multitude of false ones.
Powerful.
[But don’t try that old “look out, it’s behind you” trick. There’s nothing behind me except - OH GOD! NO! NO! NOOOOOO!]
31 December 2007 at 4:20 pm
Hehe.
1 January 2008 at 1:20 am
The narrator almost can hypnotize you into believing them. Ah, how easy it may be to let someone hand you your belief. What a stress-relief! Um, something that rhymes should probably go here…ah well, I’m tired. I’m immune to surprises.
1 January 2008 at 5:55 pm
Your pessimism is louder than mine.
Happy New Year, Ani. (Or a relatively less unhappy one, if that’s a more feasible aspiration.)
1 January 2008 at 10:00 pm
Marcelle: I am not a wise and omniscient being, I just play one on this blog. ;)
AUW: Let me guess, a giant sock monkey holding a packet of chocolate chip cookies in one hand and a kumquat in the other. Right? Yes. I guess I am all-knowing after all…
2ndhandsoul: Hoho.
2ndhandsoul again: ‘How easy it may be to let someone hand you your belief. What a stress-relief.’ If only I had a sandwich of corned beef? Don’t worry. I’ll stick to prose.
Drodbar: Yes, sorry about that. The voices in my head can get quite unruly. Happiest of new years to you, Neil.