Mindfuck
You sat next to me and the carriage filled up quickly. Our thighs touched. You opened your legs wider. Your arm pressed into mine so hard I felt the blood pump through your veins.
I held my posture: my back straight, my hands in my lap and my stoic, upturned face, faraway yet hyper-aware. My gaze never met yours. Instead I watched you out of the corner of my eye. As I noted the rise and fall of your chest, the rhythm of our breaths synchronized naturally. I licked my upper lip softly. In response, you bit your lower lip lightly.
We fucked. Or we could have fucked. So warm and pressed so close you made me perspire. I ran my fingers over my throat and down my chest and took a deep breath. You took a deeper breath and inhaled my scent, prompting you to press closer, tighter. Stronger.
Too soon we pulled into a busy station and you rose to your feet effortlessly. You disappeared through the crowd. I felt used. Empty. Like the girl that gave it up on the first date and never got a callback.
I caught my breath and smiled inwardly, in a pretend post-coital haze.
21 October 2007 at 12:12 pm
Ooh, mindfucks are so satisfyingly unmessy.
21 October 2007 at 12:46 pm
Oh, that was you, was it? The disappearing through the crowd was my attempt at ‘playing hard to get’. Damn.
They ought to have ‘fucking’ and ‘non-fucking’ compartments on trains. Then we’d all know where we stood a bit better.
21 October 2007 at 1:21 pm
This is almost like old times. I note that you’ve learned your lesson from early on in your blogging career, and have omitted any reference to the tube line in question.
*Examines photograph closely*
Circle Line, if I’m not much mistaken. Though, of course, as everyone knows, a Circle Line train never works up that much speed to pass in such a blur.
I’ll get my anorak on the way out, then.
21 October 2007 at 1:31 pm
P.S. Don’t think I didn’t notice the implicit metaphor of tube trains rushing into dark tunnels. Professor Freud will see you now, Miss Smith.
21 October 2007 at 1:38 pm
Isn’t feeling used and empty just a general statement on how it is to take the tube at all? Just saying.
Z: If your mindfucks are unmessy, you’re doing them wrong. I leak grey matter everywhere.
22 October 2007 at 11:25 am
Z: Yes and the other nice thing is that when you’re done you can be instantly ready to go again.
Drodbar: ‘Fucking compartments’ are a fantastic idea. Unfortunately, I have a feeling it would turn out sort of like nudist beaches, where no one you’d actually want to fuck would go.
AUW: Thank you for the trip down memory lane, Mr. Witness. Please don’t get your anorak, though, I have a feeling Professor Freud would like to see you as well when he’s through with me. Do make yourself comfortable, though. This could be awhile.
Bohémienne: That is an excellent point. Public transportation can truly feel like a total mindfuck at times.
22 October 2007 at 12:20 pm
Oh, I loved this. And I love it when that happens. Sort of.
23 October 2007 at 11:49 am
Public transport potluck seating: mindfuck one day, smelliest pussy in Sydney the next.
23 October 2007 at 8:10 pm
Do people actually flirt-fuck each other on the Tube? I can’t remember; I haven’t been in London since I was a virginal student. On the New York City subway, you simply have homeless men grinding their hard-ons into your asses. Not the least bit erotic. But this was … I really loved it! And I shall have to visit here more often for further arousal of the mind and aesthetic sensibilities.
23 October 2007 at 8:57 pm
Isabelle: Thank you and yes (as illustrated by the lovely Lillipilli), I suppose it depends on the participants, doesn’t it?
Lillipilli: Ha! Sadly the smelly ones outnumber the others at least five to one.
Marcelle Manhattan: Hello and welcome. And yes, I have it on good authority that there’s a lot of flirt-fucking going down on the tube. As it were. ;)
25 October 2007 at 3:08 am
I’m new, so “Hi.”
I don’t recall the underground being quite like that when I lived in London (at least not for me), but I may just have to go back and re-check. :-)
Can’t wait to read more.
25 October 2007 at 10:15 am
Hi Rae, and welcome. It’s not always like that of course, but every once in a while, you might ‘get lucky’. :)
19 November 2007 at 3:33 am
There is no danger of STD this way, at least. I would practice safer mental sexual habits, however. This may lead to strange, aberrant behavior. I’m not sure I get quite so wrapped up during public…not pubic (groan, sorry)…transport. However, the imagery and writing are compelling and not over-the-top, all witticism aside. I liked it.
19 November 2007 at 11:21 am
Hello 2ndhandsoul, thank you for comments. I’m glad you like what you’ve read. I definitely have a tendency to get wrapped up in my thoughts, whether in public or otherwise. :)
19 June 2008 at 4:40 am
I understand completely