Ex-Boyfriend Letters #1
Dear Ex-Boyfriend,
I have recently begun to mull over the issue of your reluctance to engage in meaningful sexual activities of an admittedly, though very mildly, twisted nature during the course of our relationship. It is not like I ever asked for anything completely out of the ordinary, like something involving hamsters or a small weather vane. Really. Would the occasional smack on the bottom have been so out of place?
Masochistically yours,
Your Ex-Girlfriend (now in a variety of fruity flavours)
20 September 2007 at 11:22 pm
Not into bottom smacking?!
…no wonder he is Ex-Boyfriend
21 September 2007 at 4:12 am
Have to agree with lillipilli. Boyfriends without even a smidgen of twist are better off as exes.
21 September 2007 at 10:32 am
Is he an ex because he’s under the floorboards?
Are you using more air fresheners to cover the odour?
Will you eventually have to grit your teeth and transfer him to under the patio?
Which fruity flavours?
Kumquat? Mango? Banana and Strawberry?
So many questions, so little time.
21 September 2007 at 1:47 pm
Say where you live, honey, and I’m sure us readers will gladly form a queue to smack you into sweet oblivion, to your precise specifications.
21 September 2007 at 3:22 pm
Lillipilli: I know, I didn’t even think they existed anymore.
Z: Well, there might have been twists but decidedly of the not-as-much-fun variety.
AUW: Ahem. I do not wish to incriminate myself.
Spring breeze.
Perhaps a toss into the old well?
Orange. Definitely.
Deborah Arobed: Hahaha! Good to know.