Confession 2.0
“Forgive me, father, for I have sinned.”
“Yes, my child. How long has it been since your last confession?”
“A very, very long time, father. Too long.”
“Go on.”
“I have had… impure thoughts.”
“Concerning what, my child?”
“Everything, father. Things that… well….”
“Confess and repent to me now that God may forgive you, child.”
“I simply can’t, father. I am unable to utter these travesties in your holy presence. Instead, I have been… I have blogged about them, father.”
“Blogged!?”
“Yes, I have a blog, father, wherein I have confessed to… EVERYTHING.”
” … ”
“Is something wrong, father?”
“You… you have confessed your sins to your fellow sinners before confessing them to THE LORD!?!?!?”
“Yes, father. I’m so sorry, father.”
“Very well, my child. E-mail me ten Our Fathers and seven Hail Marys in penance. May God give you pardon and peace. I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.”
“Oh thank you, father. Thank you.”
20 July 2007 at 6:51 pm
That is freaking hysterical.
20 July 2007 at 7:17 pm
Hi, Clarissa and welcome. If you like funny you should have a look at the comments on my last post. *cough*
20 July 2007 at 7:23 pm
oh god that made me laugh ! How I love ‘fallen ‘ catholics.
20 July 2007 at 7:46 pm
Hilarious, and yet so poignant, and so true.
20 July 2007 at 7:49 pm
Isabelle: I prefer to think of it as ‘soaring’.
Z: You and me, babe.
20 July 2007 at 10:06 pm
Oh god, this isn’t going to turn into one of those ‘confessional’ blogs, is it? I can’t stand those. Have you thought about writing about eyelids? And the tube network?
21 July 2007 at 1:22 pm
AUW: I have decided. You are sick.
25 July 2007 at 10:46 pm
this is fucking great.
26 July 2007 at 12:32 am
CJ, thanks. You’re much too kind.
31 July 2007 at 1:18 pm
Great post :-)