Confession 2.0
20th July 2007“Forgive me, father, for I have sinned.”
“Yes, my child. How long has it been since your last confession?”
“A very, very long time, father. Too long.”
“Go on.”
“I have had… impure thoughts.”
“Concerning what, my child?”
“Everything, father. Things that… well….”
“Confess and repent to me now that God may forgive you, child.”
“I simply can’t, father. I am unable to utter these travesties in your holy presence. Instead, I have been… I have blogged about them, father.”
“Blogged!?”
“Yes, I have a blog, father, wherein I have confessed to… EVERYTHING.”
” … ”
“Is something wrong, father?”
“You… you have confessed your sins to your fellow sinners before confessing them to THE LORD!?!?!?”
“Yes, father. I’m so sorry, father.”
“Very well, my child. E-mail me ten Our Fathers and seven Hail Marys in penance. May God give you pardon and peace. I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.”
“Oh thank you, father. Thank you.”
20th July 2007 at 6:51 pm
That is freaking hysterical.
20th July 2007 at 7:17 pm
Hi, Clarissa and welcome. If you like funny you should have a look at the comments on my last post. *cough*
20th July 2007 at 7:23 pm
oh god that made me laugh ! How I love ‘fallen ‘ catholics.
20th July 2007 at 7:46 pm
Hilarious, and yet so poignant, and so true.
20th July 2007 at 7:49 pm
Isabelle: I prefer to think of it as ‘soaring’.
Z: You and me, babe.
20th July 2007 at 10:06 pm
Oh god, this isn’t going to turn into one of those ‘confessional’ blogs, is it? I can’t stand those. Have you thought about writing about eyelids? And the tube network?
21st July 2007 at 1:22 pm
AUW: I have decided. You are sick.
25th July 2007 at 10:46 pm
this is fucking great.
26th July 2007 at 12:32 am
CJ, thanks. You’re much too kind.
31st July 2007 at 1:18 pm
Great post :-)