Soma
Pissed away the time in a dirty ashtray full of cigarette butts and a few empty bottles of the finest. Stumbled onto the toilet and let it flow through me hurriedly, wanting no waste while time kept wasting away. The acid sweet feeling of ‘please don’t let it end’ heavy in the moist salty air.
Heroically hanging on to good intentions with intimations of just one more and then off to bed. But there’s a point at which a.m. light on the horizon becomes the only last call you’re able to respect. At an ever more fluid point far beyond that one, we sailed aimlessly for two days. And on arrival?
Skin awash in unexplained bruises
Head swimming in a cold sweat
Desperate dehydration
General malaise
Fragmented recollection
Queasy stomach on the rough seas
A buoyant moment of ecstasy brimming with excess in exchange for a day long feeling of death. And a guilty empty promise forgotten by next Friday:
I’ll NEVER drink again.
10 July 2007 at 1:16 pm
I do believe I started drooling upon seeing that bottle of vodka in the photograph.
If you are never drinking again, please send any leftover bottles in my general direction. I thank you.
10 July 2007 at 2:14 pm
Between my booze and your prescriptions, oh what a time we could have.
11 July 2007 at 10:57 am
until the next time…..
11 July 2007 at 12:34 pm
Isabelle, the next time was last night. Will I ever learn?
13 July 2007 at 4:46 pm
Interesting blog. I know where you are coming from, I used to be a pretty heavy drinker and for years I couldn’t understand those people who say, “But if you know you’re going to feel like shit the next day, why get caned?” And I’d think, because the getting drunk is so great it is worth any degree of hangover. But these days I have slowed down a lot…at some point one loses the craving for excesses, or at least I did (I am 36) I feel like you are younger but I am not sure??
13 July 2007 at 5:02 pm
Emma, welcome and thanks. I’m 29 and while I have slowed down remarkably since my teens, I show no signs of stopping.
I think it’s all down to instant gratification, you know? The unbearable need to alleviate the present at whatever cost to the future.
14 July 2007 at 3:02 pm
I agree with Emmak. There comes a point in time when you just feel too old for the shit. (hangovers) I’m 36 as well and I find I can’t take it like I used to. It’s just not worth it anymore. (to me)
14 July 2007 at 8:04 pm
Venus, I feel old for many things, too, unfortunately drinking isn’t one of them. I tend toward self-destructive behaviour which I’m sure will become more and more apparent.